A TEXT POST

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

A TEXT POST

Anonymous said: How do you manage to have fun (sexually) with your girl while she is on her period?

embersofmysoul:

sadisticgames:

First, I have no qualms about fucking My girl when she is on her period. 

I don’t because she prefers not to, for multiple reasons, primarily, you wouldn’t be all that interested in sex if you had the equivalent of a stomach ache from hell.

So what I tend to do, is man the fuck up, leave My dick in My pants, and I take care of My girl.

I make sure We have pain meds handy, as well as a good selection of movies, chocolate, and ice cream.

Then I cuddle the shit out of her for as long as she wants and go the fuck away when she wants to be left alone and come back and cuddle the shit out of her again when she wants Me back.

I don’t worry about how to have fun sexually. I worry instead about how to best take care of My partner.

This man needs recognition

A TEXT POST

Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

A VIDEO

2-spook:

Just in case

Reblogged from Ruined Childhood
A VIDEO

battleroyalewith-cheese:

Why don’t dogs get to see the world too?

Reblogged from Ruined Childhood
A TEXT POST

official-2014:

I was wearing my Gryffindor shirt while Christmas shopping and there was this cute guy in a Slytherin hat and we made eye contact and he looked me up and down and said “10 points to Gryffindor” and winked at me and normally I hate being hit on but damn boy that’s the way to do it

A TEXT POST

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

Reblogged from Ruined Childhood
A VIDEO

Expectation vs. Reality (x)

Reblogged from Dark city
A VIDEO

lazar3tto:

chrisprattawesomesource:

Are you even real

what the hell hes literally the best

A VIDEO

emilyissherlocked:

africant:

 vthebookworm:

ragglefraggles:

when they say youre too old for disney

The hop, I can’t. I cackled.

BUT DID YOU NOTICE AURORA

Reblogged from Ruined Childhood